The Union of the Snake: What's Up with Alfa Romeo?

There is an old Italian expression “Non c'è due senza tre” - 'good things come in twos', bad things come in threes." This can apply to the Alfa Romeo lineup.

As I sat in the Alfa Romeo Tonale Veloce (from $39,785), hearing the ping-ping-pinging of the engine after you turn it off and staring at the gauge cluster, I legit was looking for a feeling that never arrived.

Let’s be honest, it looks great - what with its Verde Fangio Metallic paint that cut through the foggy canyon gloom like an emerald shiv, or the two-tone black and tan leather buckets looked the business. It wears a handsome face - that distinct "Trefoil" grille, those angry headlights, the stance. It looks the part.

But after a few spirited drives, the illusion came apart. The drive, was no bueno, with a 268-horsepower 2.0L four-cylinder turbo that seemed oddly underpowered and a funky steering, usually the sharpest tool in the Alfa shed, that was dull and a 9-speed transmission couldn’t find a gear to save its life. I’m not sure if it was the engine or the all-wheel drive, but the worst part was the 14 miles a gallon I was getting on the street and freeways. Zero excuses.

Committee meetings birthed this car, not passion. It’s like Alfa dressed a Jeep Compass in a Brunello Cucinelli suit. 

That said, a few weeks later, another Verde Fangio Metallic Alfa showed up in my driveway - a Giulia Intensa. It looked like cash money green in the waning afternoon light, all posted up on some black and gold 19s.

I slipped inside, pressed the start button on the steering wheel and about fifty yards out of my driveway as I pressed on the gas, the car woke up. The Giulia felt alive, where the Tonale felt dull - like shaking hands wearing cashmere mittens - even though it has the same turbocharged inline-four, the Giulia has a bit more power - 280 horsepower. But the Giulia grunts, twitches and groans, in the best possible way and after a few miles, I forgot how much I liked sedans.

The Giulia feels lighter, sharper, more frantic. It encourages bad behavior. Whirring along on a traffic-free 101, dodging erratic Teslas and ever so safely weaving through traffic, I felt the Giulia Intensa possessed an emotional clarity the Tonale failed to earn.

If your heart desires an SUV, the Stelvio Intensa (from $56,090), the Giulia’s SUV sibling, shares the same 2.0-liter heart and underpinnings under the skin. I took the Stelvio out to grab wine for dinner - a bottle of Tiberio Cerasuolo d’Abruzzo, why not - and parked it next to a Porsche Macan. The contrast between these cars is the difference between Cotoletta alla Milanese and Wiener schnitzel. I love them both, but sometimes you want something a little more Piccante.

If you look at the history of Alfa Romeo, they are a brand that never traded in rationality but in noise and feedback and the tactile sensation of driving. The Giulia and Stelvio Intensa models deliver that tactility in spades.  Flawed as they may be - an infotainment lags a few generations behind, cabin materials sometimes feel a bit plasticky - but with the Intensa models, you can forgive that, especially for under $60K.

Now you can still buy the Giulia and Stelvio Intensa models, but only as 2025 models and looking online, there are quite a few to choose from - and, if you want a 2026, with some select options, you can get close to the Intensa feeling.

Sitting on the decade-old Giorgio platform, these Intensa models remain flawed, frantic and absolutely wonderful. Right place, right cars. I hope the next generation is just as much fun. In a town like Los Angeles, where the car you drive often substitutes for a personality, the distinction of these two means everything.